Paul Ashby Paul Ashby

What is a Supreme Action?

Before jumping into defining a Supreme action, let’s do a quick review of some key concepts:

1.       The current moment is all we have. Our life if made up of a string of current moments.

2.       Happiness is being immersed in the moment. We are where we want to be, doing what we want to do, with the people we want to be with.

3.       It requires action to be immersed in the moment. We can take action to immerse us in the current moment or to influence the potential of immersive moments in the future.

4.       We can be immersed in the moment in many different ways, but the common areas of immersive moment in our life are relationships, engaging work, inspiring experiences, fun, personal development, and relaxation. More money, better health, and your surroundings can also enable immersive moments.

 

Now we can jump into defining what Supreme actions are. The most simple definition is this, “Supreme actions are actions that immerse you in the current moment and simultaneously increase the potential of more immersive moments in the future.” I now want to break this down a little further to drive home the intricacies of this definition.

It will be easiest to start with some examples of Supreme Actions and then explain what makes these actions supreme. I really enjoy learning about physics and astronomy. I can be immersed in the current moment for quite awhile if I am reading or listening to something about these topics. This is something that I enjoy and brings me feelings of happiness. Learning about physics and astronomy by itself, does not do much to increase the potential of more immersive moments in the future, so how can I make this action more of a Supreme Action? There are many ways I can do this. I can buy a telescope which will then bring many more immersive moments while learning to use it and viewing the night sky. I can invite others to join me or join a club to give me more opportunities to build relationships and have more future immersive experiences. I could take trips focused on astronomy that would bring in the fun and newness factor. If I could find a way to do engaging work in this area that brings is money, that could also be a way to be immersed in the moment today and increase my potential of more immersive experiences in the future.

Let’s give one other example. Our health will be an enabler or detractor of immersive moments in the future. Better health opens the door to many immersive moments that might not be an option to participate in if our health doesn’t permit it. The potential of future immersive moments and happiness will increase with improved health. Taking action to improve our future health is not always enjoyable. Eating healthy and eating less is not always an enjoyable experience. For many, working out or going to the gym is also not enjoyable. How can we turn this into a Supreme Action? Every individual can find ways to improve their health in an enjoyable way if they take action. Most people will find enjoyment in many activities that get them moving once they start them. The enjoyment and immersive factor can also be increased when done with others, or while listening to music. The key is to take action to find, modify, and participate in activities that you truly enjoy that will increase your health in the future. This will allow you to be immersed in the current moment now and increase the potential of more immersive moments in the future. This is a now a Supreme Action.

                There are endless more ways to turn actions into Supreme actions. The key is to enjoy life today by finding more opportunities to be immersed in the current moment while at the same time increasing the potential of future immersive moments. It is also important to balance the different areas of your life where you can find immersive moments to continue to increase the future possibility of more immersive moments. Thinking in this way can keep us out of many of the traps of life. We will more likely not participate regularly in enjoyable experiences today that have a negative impact on our future. We will also avoid the trap of spending our today on activities that make us miserable with the hope that we will find enjoyable moments in the future. As we seek out Supreme Actions it will continue to get easier as we continually open more doors of immersive moments in our future.

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Paul Ashby Paul Ashby

Areas of life that create immersive moments

Immersive moments come from many different experiences. Just think about some of the most immersive moments in your life. Were you alone or were you with other people? Were you doing something fun, or were you engaged in challenging work? Even though we will have different immersive experiences, we will all have several things in common. We will find immersive moments through relationships, meaningful work, growth and development, inspiration and impact, fun and relaxation. Immersive moments can also be enabled with good health, more money, and our surroundings. The balance of these areas of life will look different person to person. Some people can stay immersed longer in one area of life than others. Introverts often struggle to stay immersed in the moment with people and relationships as long as extroverts. You might be able to stay immersed in challenging work longer during some times of your life, and other times you might need more fun and relaxation to stay immersed in the moment. We can all work to find the right balance for us, and we can be tolerant and accepting of others if their balance looks different than others.

Here are the key areas of life where we can all find immersive moments and happiness:

Relationships - Studies on happiness have always shown the importance of relationships. Family and friends are essential to achieve happiness. Humans are social creatures, and we benefit greatly from being with others. Immersive moments in life often include being with those we love and want to be with. Some people might need and want more relationships in their life than others, but every person will increase the number of immersive moments in their life as they cultivate and prioritize the relationships they have. Neglecting relationships is a sure way to decrease the future immersive moments in our life. Sometimes it is necessary to walk away from a relationship if it is continually causing us to have negative experiences and is not helping us be immersed in the moment with that person.

Engaging work – When most people think about happiness, they often think first about relationships and fun moments. If they are asked if they have ever been happy while doing work, almost everyone will then remember many times when engaging work has brought them happiness. It can be very fulfilling to be immersed in the moment while engaged in work that we enjoy. The term “flow” is what describes those times when we are immersed in the moment while doing something challenging. Engaging work can bring immersive moments because our minds and bodies are focused on a single task. People enjoy challenges that are not too hard, and we are often learning while engaged in these tasks. If we are immersed in challenging work while at our job, we also have the benefit of improving our financial situation while we are immersed in the current moment.

Fun – We all need to have some moments in our life that our immersive just because they are fun. We will get tired and burned out if we are only focused on work all the time. Fun can come in many forms and will be different from person to person. The key is to be engaged in something that we are doing just for the pure enjoyment of it. Something that will make us smile and laugh.

Inspiration – Can you think of times when you have seen an amazing scene in nature, when you have heard an inspiring story, or when you have learned something that leaves you in awe? These experiences of wonder, awe, and inspiration can be very immersive. Wonder and awe are feelings that help us step away from the noise of other things and just be focused on what we are experiencing. Some examples of inspiring experiences are nature, inspiring people, religion, and service. We may feel awe from different experiences, but we all need to include these experiences in our life to have a good balance.

Personal development – I have heard some people say that happiness is growth. This statement normally comes from individuals who are trying to sell personal development products, but there is truth to this statement. Personal development and growth are ways that we can be immersed in the moment and feel happiness. Like challenging work, it can be very rewarding to learn something new or to do something better. Exercise is also a form of personal development that can be very immersive and rewarding.

Relaxation – Similar to fun, we all need some amount of relaxation in our life. Just like any area of life, we can have too much relaxation, and we could get bored of it. To make relaxation an immersive experience, we also need to choose the form of relaxation carefully. You can be sitting at a pool in the sunshine and still not be immersed in the moment if you are stressed about something. Mindless scrolling on social media is normally not very immersive because you are being distracted by flashing content instead of focusing your mind on the moment. Relaxation is immersive when we are doing something that calms our mind and body while being engaged in what we are doing. Many people find meditation to be very relaxing and effective to be immersed in the moment.

Combinations – The best thing we can do is combine these areas of our life into even more immersive experiences. It can be extremely satisfying to be engaged in a challenging task, that is also fun, with others that we love, and may even inspire us. As we combine the different areas of our life, we can find more happiness and can also help create more immersive moments in the future.

There are also key enablers to immersive moments. While these are not typically areas in our life where we have immersive moments, these are areas that can either help to enable immersive moments or can detract from them.

Money – I believe money can indeed buy happiness because it can buy immersive moments. I have had many immersive moments in my life that I couldn’t have had if I didn’t have the money for them. Money is definitely not needed for many immersive experiences, so a lot of money is not required to have more happiness in your life. Money can even buy or be the cause of unhappiness. If we buy a bunch of stuff that clutters our life and brings us extra work, we have just bought unhappiness. The pursuit of money while doing unenjoyable work can also leave us hating most of the moments in our life and can make us very unhappy. We all need to make sure we strike the right balance with money to ensure it enables more immersive moments while minimizing the negative moments that it can create.

Health – It is easier to increase the number of immersive moments in our life when we have good health. Poor health can be a big detractor from feeling immersed in the moment. Even short-term illness can make it much more difficult to enjoy and be engaged in what we are doing. Long term heath issues can really limit the different immersive experiences we can be involved in. This is also why we need a good balance between the different areas of our life. If we only focus on work while we have good health, we may not have the established relationships to provide future immersive moments as we age, and our health deteriorates. We may have also given up fun experiences that we are no longer able to have. Finding ways to have immersive moments that also improve our health will be an important enabler for more happiness in the future.

Surroundings – People often don’t think about how their surroundings can impact their ability to be immersed in the moment. It can be much more difficult to be immersed in the moment if we are not somewhere we really want to be, and if we wish we were somewhere else. It is important to find ways to make our surroundings conducive to immersive experiences. We need to be careful about materialism because this can lead to clutter or extra work to take care of our stuff. We can also be selective about where we live, where we work, and where we spend our time. Sometimes changing our surroundings can be extremely effective to immerse us in the current moment.

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Paul Ashby Paul Ashby

Definition of Happiness

The most common goal in life for most people is the pursuit of happiness. The problem is most people cannot agree on what happiness even is or how to achieve it. There are many different definitions of happiness. Some are based on psychological and neurological studies, while others are used as a marketing tool to sell a wide array of products. Some people will say money can’t buy happiness, but most people actually believe they will be happier once they have more money. Is happiness found through money? Power? Fame? Good looks? Achievement? Fun? Relaxation? Personal Growth? Experiences? Travel? Relationships? Thrill seeking? From within? Serving others? Success? Hard work? Purpose and meaning?

                If we ask this question to 100 people, we will get many different responses. Most people just say they want to be happy, but often don’t really know how to be happier. There are also studies that show the pursuit of happiness can lead to less happiness when people don’t feel happier from that pursuit. The problem is our brain is wired to adapt to our circumstances and it works very hard to keep our happiness level and pain level in balance. Happiness seems short lived as our brain adapts so we never seem to attain the level of happiness we are looking for. Because we are such complex beings, and the world is ever changing around us, it makes it very difficult to truly pinpoint what the definition of happiness for every person really is.

                We can start to make some progress by asking people to name times when they felt truly happy. At first glance, the answers will be completely different from person to person. Someone might say they are happy when they are eating dinner with their family. Another person might say they are happy when they are working on their business. Some are happy while seeking thrills, while others are most happy while reading a book at home. The list of happy moments people will be different from person, but will probably include when they are with friends and family, when they are doing something they enjoy, when they are engaged in a challenging task, or when they are learning something new that interests them. We can simplify everyone’s list to a few general statements. People feel happy when they are doing something they want to do, when they are somewhere they want to be, and when they are with others they want to be with.

                Now for the definition of happiness. We concluded earlier that our life is made up of a string of current moments. Happiness is being immersed in the moment. I know that is a simple definition, but think about it with me. If you think about moments when you felt immersed in the moment, did you feel happy? Can you think of happy times when you were not immersed in the moment? When you were immersed in the moment, were you where you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to do, and with the people you wanted to be with? On the flip side, unhappiness can be defined by not being immersed in the moment or not wanting to be in that moment. These are times when you wish you were somewhere else, doing something else, and with someone else. The more immersive current moments we string together in our life, the more overall happiness we will achieve. Even though we are all different, this definition of happiness will apply to all of us.

                My immersive moments will look different than your immersive moments. You may find yourself truly immersed in the moment while watching a Broadway production. I may be looking at my watch waiting for it to end. I might easily be immersed in the moment while solving math problems, but you may hate every second of it. One person might be completely immersed in the moment while at a large party, while another person will be more immersed in the moment when they are alone. Even though we are all different, we all have things that enable us to be immersed in the current moment. We all have happy immersive moments, and we all have moments where we are unhappy and can’t wait for that moment to end.

                Any person can find more happiness by increasing the number of immersive moments in their life, but we are not always in the situation we want to be in. Sometimes life can throw us curve balls and it seems like we struggle from moment to moment without being immersed in any of them. Some people are also put into terrible circumstances not of their choice. I am definitely not saying that those individuals should force happiness in that situation. Sometimes the only thing we can do is to do whatever we can to get out of that circumstance. Take the best action we can to move us closer to a situation where we can set up more immersive moments in the future. We can also work to find small ways to improve our current moments while setting up even better future ones.

Would we all be happiest if we just found the one thing that always helped us be immersed in the moment and only do that? Probably not. Once again, our brains are very good at adapting. Something that we enjoy and gets us immersed in the moment will only last for so long. I absolutely love to spend time in my hot tub. I could spend an hour every day in the hot tub. I feel immersed in that moment and I feel happy. Even though I can be immersed in the moment while in the hot tub, I started to be less immersed in the moment the longer I am in it. I would not be immersed in the moment if I was in the hot tub 12 hours a day. We all like and need variety and newness. Being immersed in the moment also doesn’t always mean fun and relaxation. Engaging work can be very effective to get us immersed in the moment. It is better for us to understand all the different things that help us be immersed in the moment and then to plan our moments to balance all those different things in our life.

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Paul Ashby Paul Ashby

Time is all we have

If you really think about it, all we have in life is this moment…well it is really this moment…actually it’s this moment.

 

                Time keeps ticking forward. We have minutes, days, and years that are now in the past. We have an unknown number of days in the future. Have you ever stopped to think about what is the most important moment of your life? If you really think about it, could it be any other moment than the current moment? Your life is this moment.

                I think it is important to ask these types of questions, and I think there are a few other important questions to ponder when thinking about the current moment. Can you go back to change a moment in the past?  Can you guarantee a specific moment in the future? My guess is we all agree that the answer to both of these questions is no. This means the moment that we have the most influence over, and the moment that is guaranteed, is this current moment. The only moment we truly have control over, is the current moment.

                Time is the most important asset in our life. Our life is made up of a series of current moments, so the way we spend each current moment shapes our entire life. We can mostly choose what we do, how we feel, and what actions we take in each current moment of our life. Our past was determined by what we did, how we felt, and what actions we took during the string of each passing moment in our life. The rest of our life will be made up of a string of future current moments. Our future is not guaranteed, but we can greatly influence how future moments will play out in our life by how we live each current moment. Think about how empowering this is.

                Most of us have a hard time living in the moment. We are often dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Being able to focus on the current moment allows us to overcome the feelings of hopelessness that come when we feel we don’t have control over our life. The benefits of taking full control over each current moment will spill over to every area of your life. Realizing that it is “me” who must take action in the current moment is extremely important. I have ownership for my life. I can influence the current moment. I can influence the potential of future moments playing out how I want them to.

                Life can be unpredictable. We will all find ourselves in situations that we don’t want to be in. It can sometimes be difficult to feel like we have control over our life when things don’t go as expected. No matter what life throws at us, we still have control over how we think, feel, and act in any moment. We may not be able to make every moment good, but we can continually work to make each moment the best possible. As we do this, we can also find ways to increase the chances that our future moments will become the current moments that we really want.

                Scientific studies have shown the power of focusing on the moment and using the current moment to improve your future moments. In a study done at North Carolina state University in 2020, the researchers concluded “people who manage to balance living in the moment with planning for the future are best able to weather daily stress without succumbing to negative moods.”

                The importance of the current moment has also been taught in Buddhism for hundreds of years. In the sutra “Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone,” the Buddha said, “Don’t get caught in the past, because the past is gone. Don’t get upset about the future, because the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to be alive, and that is the present moment. Go back to the present moment and live this moment deeply, and you’ll be free.”

                This concept of time and the current moment is the first building block to understand how each of us can achieve the highest amount of happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Once we accept that the current moment needs to be the critical focus of our life, we can take the next steps to improve our life. We will now explore the definition of happiness and how the choices and actions we make in each current moment will define the level of happiness and fulfillment we each achieve and maintain in this life.

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